Friday, September 12, 2008

18:9

I will regret this sooner or later.
I already have, actually.
And yet I continue to inflict this awful form of self-punishment!
hehe


Brandon O'Miciah Burns
Virgo
Accomplishments: Being the biggest inside joke EVER. Having a big weiner. Taught me how to do Hindu squats. Longest time taken to make a turkey sandwich.
Cons: confusing as fuck. Al Burns. crybaby. Wears tool pants.
Tidbits: collects Pez containers. Is secretly into bestiality.



Eric Apollo Benick
Saggitaurius
Accomplishments: poet. having a nice fluffy ghetto booty. playing sexy music while kissing sternums.
Cons: has an insatiable desire to be more unique than anyone else. relentlessly pretentious hipster.
Tidbits: is probably gay. has a tatto of Proust on his left buttock.


Sean Thompson
Scorpio
Accomplishments: Being extraordinarily dumb. Toe rubbing.
Cons: he's really into gnarwhal.
Tidbits: he reminds me of an adorably retarted puppy. I think he might be holding his balls in this picture.




Stephen Curry
Gemini
Accomplishments: His penis is really as big as the beer can penis. SRSLY. trombone player in the Tower of Power!
Cons: he once described my skins as being as "soft as Crisco". what the hell. Was also into Tool.
Tidbits: can do a mean Scooby-Doo dance. Is flexible enough to give himself fellatio.



Thomas Anderson
Accomplishments: INCREDIBLE DRUMMER. beat boxing. planet tuning forks. good at giving sensual hugs.
Cons: too short. In more ways than one.
Tidbits: He gave me a copy of his cd, Capital Fresh. This one song consists of nothing but a jungle boogie beat and a girl making orgasm sounds for four minutes.



Oliver "Stoned to the Bone" Brian O'Hanlon
yep, I went there.
Accomplishments: the line "it said take a left at the next fork in the road/i saw two spoons and knife". soft lips. giving my brother perpetual shit. Nicknamed my cat "the roof lion".
Cons: his mouth tastes gross.
Tidbits: He likes Winnie-the-Pooh and baby angels.




Nick Holt aka "The Stallion"
Leo
Accomplishments: having no cartlidge in his nose. being endowed with, uh, stallion-like sexual apparatus. being arrested more times than I've read Ishmael.
Cons: he doesn't like PDA.
Tidbits: His mother was a lioness. Hence the mane. J.P. is secretly gay for him. Nick Holt is secretly gay for Oli. LOVE TRIANGLE



Sam Phillips
Aquarian
Accomplishments: Eloquence. The most extensive music taste EVER. "fact fiction friction"
Cons: Too skinny, even for my taste.
Tidbits: bred of conservative baptists and a goldminer. Is kind of girly and I kind of like it.

Benjamin "Fancy Pants" Goldsmith
Scorpio
Accomplishments: Gorgeous Jew nose. playing the theremin! good with his fingers.
Cons: too short. again, in more ways than one.
Tidbits: pierced nipple!!





Heath Ledger as the Joker.
I FUCKING WISH.


The mistake. But there are no mistakes. Only lessons.




Dan Brown
Sign Gemini-Taurus Cusp
Pros: he's a tiger; he may be the most beautiful on here


just look at those brown eyes.
Cons: playa playa playa




isn't he just fuckin' adorable?




yep. i never thought i would be such a mistakedy girl.
but he is awfully smart.
and another scorpio!



1 comment:

Anonymous said...

erique the gay boy has a for serious tattoo of proust on his ass?
that may be the saddest/most hilarious thing i've heard all day. and it's been a very sad/funny day.

and this nick holt not liking pda thing seems bad for our summer square! cause i think that adam secretly (or not so secretly) looooovees pda.