i'm reading again. . .

on a regular basis. it's wonderful! I'm re-reading Anne Bogart's A Director Prepares: Seven Essays on Art and Theatre. There are two many choice quotes, insights, and pieces of advice to write them all down, I'll just have to hope my tiny brain absorbs as many as possible! But here are a few I found in just the first few pages.

One has only to read, to look, to listen, to remember

(Virginia Woolf)

"Reality depends upon our choices of what and how we choose to observe."

Examine for a moment an ordinary mind on an ordinary day. The mind receives a myriad impressions -- trivial, fantastic, evanescent, or engraved with the sharpness of steel. From all sides they come, an incessant shower of innumerable atoms; and as they fall, as they shape themselves into the life of Monday or Tuesday, the accent falls differently from of old; the moment of importance came not here but there.

(Virginia Woolf)

. . . . and more to come!

Janis

Un-pop-cultured as I am, until about a month ago I knew next to nothing about Janis Joplin. Then my lovely director, Brenda Sparks, for this summer's Nashville Shakespeare Festival production of Taming of the Shrew, mentioned that she was seeing Kate as sort of a Janis Joplin to Bianca's Goldie Hawn (we're setting it in the late sixties). So off I set to embark on some research of Janis. And, honestly, she's kind of knocked the wind out of me. I just finished a biography of her called Sweet Scars of Paradise by Alice Echols which, DESPITE IT'S CLICHE TITLE, was absolutely engrossing. Janis's complexity was not diminished in anyway (and if you think she wasn't complex, think again, 'cause we all are). I identified with Janis, admired Janis, hated Janis, rooted for Janis, misunderstood Janis. It would be hard for any young woman NOT to identify with Janis, she was one of the first female celebrities who didn't mask her issues, but instead bared and sometimes flaunted them. She was so insecure, worrying until the day she died that one day everyone would find out she was an imposter, that she couldn't sing. She fucked right and left in her manic desire to be loved and accepted, despite her not-so-great looks. She felt lonely even in the midst of huge success and acknowledgement of her talent. I just couldn't believe how much I related to her, how I found myself thinking, "i've done that! I do that! It's fucked up but it's not just me!"

Suffice it to say, she is providing a lot of inspiration for me this summer, both personally and "in the world of the play" as they say :) And this version of "Cry Baby" kicks ass.

A 33-year-old Egyptian man, who currently sleeps in the parks of Milan, eats in charity kitches, and occasionally washes dishes for restaurants whenever he needs some cash testifies to the happiness of his life:

After the War of 1967 I decided to leave Egypt and start hitchhiking toward Europe. Ever since I have been living with my mind concentrated within myself. It has not been just a trip, it has been a search for identity. Every man has something to discover within himself. The people in my town were sure I was crazy when I decided to start walking to Europe. But the best thing in life is to know oneself. . . My idea from 1967on has remained the same: to find myself. I had to struggle against many things. I passed through Lebanon and its war, through Syria, Jordan, Turkey, Yugoslavia, before getting here. I had to confront all sorts of natural disasters; I slept in ditches near the road in thunderstorms, I was involved in accidents, I have seen friends die next to me, but my concentration has never flagged. . . It has been an adventure that so far has lasted twenty years, but it will keep going on for the rest of my life. . .

Through these experiences I have come to see tha the world is not worth much. The only thing that counts for me no, first and last, is God. I am most concentrated when I pray with my prayer beads. Then I am able to put my feelings to sleep, to calm myself and avoid becoming crazy. I believe that destiny rules life, and it makes no sense to struggle too hard . . . During my journey I have seen hunger, war, death, and poverty. Now through prayer I have begun to hear myself, I have returned toward my center, I have achieved concentration and I have understood that the world has no value. Man was born to be tested on this earth. Cars, television sets, clothes are secondary. The main thing is that we were born to praise the Lord. Everyone has his own fate, and we should be like the lion in the proverb. The lion, when he runs after a pack of gazelles, can only catch them one at a time. I try to be like that, and not like Westerners who go crazy working even though they cannot eat more than their daily bread. . . If I am to live twenty more years, I will try to live enjoying each moment, instead of killing myself to get more. . . If I am to live like a free man who does not depend on anyone, I can afford to go slowly; if I don't earn anything today, it does not matter. It means that this happens to be my fate. Next day I may earn 100 million -- or get a terminal illness. Like Jesus Christ said, What does it benefit to man if he gains the entire world, but loses himself? I have tried first to conquer myself; I don't care if I lose the world.

I set out on this journey, like a baby bird hatching from its egg; ever since I have been walking in freedom. Every man should get to know himself and experience life in all its forms. I could have gone on sleeping soundly in my bed, and found work in my town, because a job was ready for me, but I decided to sleep with the poor, because one must suffer to become a man. One does not get to be a man by getting married, by having sex: to be a man means to be responsible, to know when it is time to speak, to know what has to be said, to know when one must stay silent.



-from Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi


. . . which is an excellent book by the way. I would highly recommend it. Or at least go wach Csikszentmihalyi's TED talk.

It's true, one does not become a man (or a woman, for that matter, but I feel this is more of an issue in our culture with men) by having sex. Anyone can have sex, any animal can have sex. We are biologically programmed to have and enjoy sex. What is hard, what makes you a mature adult is managing your sexual power in a responsible way, realizing the effect of sexual power and using it wisely and maturely.